Every once in a while we’ll hear a story about a family for whom a trust was more of a hindrance than a help. Most often it’s because the trust was not created properly, or was old and outdated and hadn’t been reviewed by the grantors on a regular basis. But sometimes the conflict is more personal.

The possibility for conflicts within trust administration is no reason to keep from creating a trust; rather, it is why it is absolutely essential to have a system in place to resolve these conflicts when they crop up. The most effective of these systems is to nominate a Trust Advisor (also called a Trust Protector). A Trust Advisor is a professional, most often an attorney, who can serve as a mediator between the beneficiary and trustee should any disagreements crop up. In addition to serving as a mediator in case of conflict, your Trust Advisor will also be the first person any of your beneficiaries can call on if they have questions about administration or distributions, or conflicts with the Trustee.

Some other options for conflict resolution or prevention are having an airtight no contest clause, a dispute mediation clause, giving the majority of your income beneficiaries the ability to vote to make certain changes to your trust, or having co-trustees who work together. Whatever your situation or preference there are options and tools to ensure that your wishes are carried out and your beneficiaries are provided for with as little conflict as possible.

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The holidays are the perfect time for family reunions, family bonding, family fun …and, according to the Wall Street Journal the perfect time for parents and children to talk about family finances, family estate plans, and family decisions about end-of-life issues. After all, there are relatively few times each year in the lives of most families when everyone is gathered in the same place.

“While there’s no need to try to answer difficult health-care or legal questions on Christmas Eve,” says author Tom Lauricella, “the holidays offer a chance to start important conversations.” Lauricella points out that the holidays offer not only a chance for parents and grandparents to discuss some of these issues with their grown children, but also a chance for grown children to reassess how their elderly parents or grandparents are faring—and issue just as important as a discussion of retirement or estate planning.

So this year, along with the egg-nog and presents, families might want to consider the gift of peace of mind that comes with a bit of frank talk, surrounded by the love and cheer of the season.

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Jane Gross over at the New Old Age Blog recently wrote a post about the prospect of enforced filial responsibility. Filial responsibility laws are patterned after Elizabethan Poor Laws and state that adult children are responsible for the basic needs of their parents, just as you would be for the basic needs of your spouse or your children. “Basic needs” includes food, clothing, shelter and medical care.

According to Ms. Gross, the filial responsibility laws are still on the books in 30 states, including California, Massachusetts, Indiana and Pennsylvania! (Gross includes a link in her post to a document listing all 30 states with filial responsibility laws.) These laws haven’t been enforced in a long time, but with the current economic crisis, and the rumor of dwindling Medicaid and Social Security resources as baby boomers age, is it such a far stretch to imagine that those laws may be enforced again someday? Perhaps even someday soon?

How hard would that be on the sandwich generation? It really wasn’t that long ago that elderly parents lived with their children. There was a time when it was not unusual to have three generations in one house; it was the norm, in fact.

Were these laws to once again be enforced, the real issue would not be food or shelter; rather, it would be medical care, daily home care, and length of life. The fact of the matter is that we are living longer today than we ever have. In some cases those added years are high-quality, but often those years are spent in a slow decline into Alzheimer’s or dementia, both of which eventually require round-the-clock care. With modern families generally needing two incomes just to stay afloat, where would that care come from?

This isn’t an issue that we necessarily need to worry about right now, but it is one that is important to consider. Most of us would choose to take care of our parents rather than see them out on the street, regardless of whether or not we were required to by law, but the cost of doing so rises every year—and rises with every year we add to the average life-span. What happens when it’s not just the impoverished elderly we need to worry about, but newly impoverished middle-agers as well?

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Individuals with mental illnesses already have a number of unique challenges to face, and now Time Magazine tells us they have one more terrifying prospect, because, according to Time’s recent article by Kate Torgovnick “on average, people with severe mental illness die 25 years younger than the rest of the population.”

There are many contributing factors to this shocking figure, but one of the main reasons the article gives is that “people with serious mental illness tend to be low on the socioeconomic totem pole and don’t often get the best available health care.”

The real tragedy in this scenario is that it doesn’t have to be this way. With the right planning—either by the individual in question or by loving friends and family—someone with a serious mental illness could still have access to the best medical care. And a special needs trust complete with provisions for an advocate or an advisory committee will provide the beneficiary with further protection; someone to ensure that his or her needs are being met, and any ailments are taken seriously by medical professionals.

With enough education and planning, perhaps we can improve the situations of those with mental illnesses… and change that shocking mortality rate as well.

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Growing old alone can be tough, but it might be what many of our parents and grandparents will be forced to do in order to protect their assets and still qualify for Medicare. In her article Caring for Aging Loved Ones Can Be a Catch-22, journalist Gail Sheehy describes how she learned the hard way about Medicaid’s “policy of pauperization” when she supported her husband during his long battle with throat cancer.

“If the couple first exhausts all their remaining assets, then Medicaid will cover nursing care. And if Sheehy, in her late 60s, wasn’t willing to give up all her assets and income?

‘Then, you need to divorce him,’ the geriatric care manager told her.”

It seems that at a time when couples most need the health, security, and emotional support that come from a loving spouse, they learn that they may not be able to afford to be married!

But the difficulties don’t end there. The U.S. News & World Report article above shows that a “policy of pauperization” is only part of what’s wrong with our long-term healthcare system. Poorly trained caregivers, piecemeal medical treatment—these and more are what await you if you’re a middle-class aging American.

So when you’re investigating how to protect your assets and your future with an estate plan, be sure to find out how you can achieve the same goals in the event that you need long-term care as well.

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Thanksgiving and the winter holidays that follow make for a season of warmth, family, and togetherness. This is when we all try to slow down and make time to be with the people we love most. It’s a time for reminiscing, telling stories, reconnecting, and showing those closest to us just how important they are. After all, although some of the season has been eroded by marketing and consumerism over the years, at its root it is still the season of giving; a time for thinking about others.

Because we think of our clients and readers as part of our firm family, we want to take this opportunity to thank all of you for the time you have spent with us, the trust you have put in us, and the role you have let us play in your lives. It gives us great pleasure to know that we are helping families—young or old, large or small—deal with some of the most difficult and important rites of passage.

And so, during this holiday devoted to recognizing those things for which we are most thankful, we are thankful for you—our readers, our clients, our extended firm family. Thank you for letting us be a part of your lives.

Happy Thanksgiving, and may you enjoy a wonderful holiday season.

There’s good news and there’s bad news. The good news is that modern medicine and healthier lifestyles mean that we’re leading longer lives. In fact, life expectancy in the United States is starting to push 80 years of age. As recently as 1970, that expectancy was 70.8 years of age.

The bad news is that we are in danger of outliving both our money and our ability to care for ourselves. Recent turmoil in the stock market, where many retirees are heavily invested, has only highlighted the anxiety felt by seniors who fear they will run out of money, an issue explored in this article from Reuters news service.

Good estate planning needs to cover what will happen when you die, but also needs to take into account what will happen if you don’t—at least anytime soon.

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Estate planning may generally be considered a family activity, but women may find that they have more reason than their husbands (or single male counterparts) to get the ball rolling. Although tradition tells us that the man will bring home the bacon and take care of his family, statistics tell us that women are three times more likely than men to end up as caretaker for their spouse, and women outnumber men five to one as a widowed spouse.

These statistics and others, according to William K. Hayes, are Why Estate Planning Is a Woman’s Issue. “For women, the importance of estate planning is paramount,” says Hayes, “because most often women must cope when loved ones become disabled or die.” What “coping” often means is dealing with the probate court during a time of emotional vulnerability.

In so many households it is the women who run the tight ship—juggling the social schedule, the household chores, bill paying, childcare, careers, spiritual matters, and more. So why when it comes to the financial future or estate planning are they suddenly hands-off? Especially when so very much of their own interest is at stake?

Men may be considered ‘the stronger sex’, but history tells us that women are the ones with the longevity who end up holding the bill. Women cannot afford to be hands-off about their futures any longer.

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The Dow finished under 8,000, the big three automakers want a bailout, and the R-word is bandied about in the press. Never have the words of Everett Dirksen seemed so apropos: “A billion here, and a billion there, and pretty soon you’re talking about real money.”

Everyone, it seems, is talking about money. You know: the filthy lucre, the simoleons, the coin. But it wasn’t always so. There was a time when talking about money was as embarrassing and fraught with peril as talking about sex or religion. In more refined circles, it was something that simply wasn’t done. O tempora, O mores! How times have changed. Why? Linton Weeks of NPR cites the 60s counter-culture revolution, Louis Rukeyser, USA Today, the new affluence, Congress, and the 401(k). Take your pick. But feel free to talk about the you-know-what.

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“Know all men by these presents, that I, Elizabeth H. Colt, of the City and County of Hartford and State of Connecticut, widow of Samuel Colt, late of said Hartford, deceased, being of sound and disposing mind and memory but deeply conscious of the uncertainty of human life, do make, publish and declare the following to be my last will and testament…”

So begins the will of Elizabeth Colt, widow of Sam Colt, maker of the Colt .45. This article by Daniel D’Ambrosio, which features Ms. Colt’s will, brings up a couple interesting issues for anybody thinking about estate planning.

The first is that Elizabeth died in 1905, more than 100 years ago, and yet her will is still available for perusal by anyone who might choose to request it. This is because a will, once filed with the probate court, becomes public domain—even a century later. This is convenient for your distant descendents who may have an interest in genealogy, but it might not be so convenient for your more immediate family. It is not unusual for grieving relatives to let heightened emotions run away with them and believe themselves less loved when they find out that there has not been an equal distribution of property. A trust, on the other hand, remains as private as you choose it to be.

Another item of interest is the fact that the trust Elizabeth Colt set up more than 100 years ago was not only successful in carrying out her wishes at the time, but is still in existence today, continuing to work and carry out her charitable goals. The Colt legacy lives on, not only because of Sam Colt’s invention and industry, but also because of Elizabeth’s foresight and philanthropy.

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